CHRISTMAS DEPARTMENT: My True Love “Said” To Me

I thought everyone might be interested to know, in brief, that I’ve been laughing non-stop for the past ten minutes. At what?, you ask. Well, this afternoon, I came screeching to the revelation that I have, in fact, and without realizing it, been both saying and singing it wrong for my entire life. What’s even more humorous to me, moreso than my illogical error, is my consistent failure to notice that illogicality.

What on Earth am I talking about?, you ask. Well, the song “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” that’s what. See, today I realized that when singing that time-honored Christmas hymn, one does not say, “On the first day of Christmas, my true love said to me…” Rather, one says, “On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me” (or gave). I realized that upon discovering, quite randomly, that the former makes absolutely no sense whatsoever and I’m truly at a loss as to how that never occurred to me.

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ELECTION 2012: Merry Christmas! Drinks all around!

Elizabeth Warren

Elizabeth Warren won her Senate seat in Massachusetts. (Photo: qwrrty)

Oh, what a glorious day! I feel like an eight-year-old kid on Christmas morning, tumbling down the stairs in a bright red onesie that was a gift from grandma last year (and that’s almost too small for me) to see all the gifts Santa left me under the tree. In this case, the morning was last night, the tree was the 2012 elections, Santa was the voters, and the gifts, well, I’ll get to those in a moment. On a side note, let me say the only real lump of coal I’ve found so far in my stocking is Michele Bachmann being narrowly reelected to her congressional seat. Screw you too, Santa. I was really hoping my ORU diploma would automatically increase in credibility with her defeat. Oh, well. Anyway, look at the bright side: at least she won’t be getting a show on Fox News!

One of the things every kid has to learn is that, for whatever reason, Santa is a stickIer about giving you everything you write down on your list. Even so, all things considered, things are pretty good (and they could have been a lot worse). So, I invite you to join me as I open my presents–even though they’re really everyone’s presents, not just mine. And we’ll open them together. Continue reading